Author: David Quilaguy

Summer is almost over in Berlin, hopefully the very low temperatures won’t hit us very soon! It also seems that I have to start changing the things I am wearing in order not to catch a cold. In the mean time I will just pretend we still have temperatures between and 20 and 30 degrees, plus the feeling of being on the beach with all my friends, that will keep me warm for a couple of days.

It’s 5:30 pm and I have to go out in half an hour, gotta take shower and get ready… I ask myself what should I wear, see all my shorts and realize they are ‘too’ short, then I remember all the things that are related to short-shorts and how easily your image can be missled while wearing something or having a certain type of face. Some people have called me a twink and said I wear outfits for twinky guys, and also said that look I pretty much like one. The common idea of a ‘twink’ is pretty much an attractive, boyish, young and slender hairless gay man.

There is nothing wrong about being a ‘twinky boy’ or a ‘bear’ or any other type of person, but we should think that all this labels that have been created for us, made us look like being in a supermarket where you can choose by colour, size and type of guy. About a month ago I decided to shorten my hair as much as possible, thought the result would be people not seeing me anymore as the ‘ very-cute-twink ‘ they saw before… And it did work, now that I have my short hair I feel very comfortable about the heat and the image I project and feel satisfied about it, I can still wear short-shorts without falling into the same label and things seems to have changed a bit.

Sadly, twink-alikes are given the ultimatum between becoming one of the group or simply pray for someone who wants you and doesn’t feel like rejecting every boy whose body doesn’t fit the regular standards set for very young guys…

Do men wear makeup?

The question itself would have been ridiculous around 10 years ago, now many guys wear make up, I am not talking only about the cliché of homosexuals wearing make up, No! I am talking about regular guys, people who simply want to hide a pimple or make their eye bags look smaller. From the guy who is the Metrosexual until the very straight guy who just want to look his best on a date with his future girlfriend, they all want to look more appropiate and fit within the new ‘standards’ of beauty.

I remember my friends in Catholic school making fun of me just for saying to one of them that I use foundation to cover some pimples I had ( thank God they disappeared ), then realising some years after that they had pretty much done the same thing I did… Nowadays, I don’t wear any makeup, just because my skin turned out to be good and I follow a healthy diet, but if I had to, I would wear some foundation to hide pimples.

One thing I could also say about this ‘guy makeup thing’ is, no matter the gender, you can do pretty much whatever you want to your body, it’s your choice to look however you want to look, to follow this trend or the other to wear black, yellow or pink. Don’t let society to decide everything you have to do, and please do not let Fashion to tell you how you have to look like.

It is proven that men value appearance in their partner much more than vice versa, this does not mean he can forget about his appearance, still the judgement to these type of men is present. My point is (again) that we can all put as much makeup as we want, judgement is something overrated and there’s enough ‘normal’ people out there to even care about it.

Too many potential mates makes it harder to settle on just one. Only that the single person’s wasteland is that much bigger. The volume of young singles in the city “gives you the sense that you could meet someone at any time. Most of the time, though, you don’t.” Another friend who uses an online dating site in the city says that the amount of options means “everyone is looking out for someone better.”

That is precisely the reason why we all seem to be single, we don’t take the time to get to know someone and once we see a small defect or imperfection we just want to jump out of it as soon as possible. A fact that cannot be avoided is: We always want the next best option, meaning mostly that even when we think we’ve found someone special and maybe a partner to share more than just a couple nights, we would be looking for his replacement since we don’t want to get hurt or are already getting bored of him…

As we know, there is not right or wrong way to do things when it comes to dating, however we could be more sincere with people that are surrounding us, they might have also feelings! Here comes the principle of not hurting people if you don’t want get hurt and that is something that seems to be missing here in Berlin, or at least that’s my personal experience. To me it seems to be extremately hard to find someone who you can trust, and/or someone who wants to take the time to get to know you better.

Although it sounds pesimist, it is the truth of such big cities to have all this huge rates of single people… Not really looking to keep all in this tone, that’s why I wanted to share some good news that came up of Grindr. A good friend of mine met his bf on Grindr, they have been together already for 2 years and will get married in almost 1 months! Can that be any better? - Yes, that’s the very same feeling I get when I start thinking this city might not be the worse place to set up with someone.

There are certain times of day when we just wish to sit on the couch and do nothing, some of us do not have a companion to join is in this very hard labour of relaxing, however there’s still a lot you can do by yourself or with your boyfriend, such as watching a film and cuddle while watching a film. That’s why I have decided to create list with some of the films I consider every gay person should know about.

1. Prayers for Bobby

” It is based on the book, Prayers for Bobby: A Mother’s Coming to Terms with the Suicide of Her Gay Son, by Leroy F. Aarons, which is itself based on the true story of the life and legacy of Bobby Griffith, a young gay man who killed himself in 1983 due to his mother’s and community’s homophobia” Wikipedia

If you are a very sensitive person, there might a risk that you cry during the entire film.

2. A single man

” A Single Man is the story of George Falconer (Colin Firth), a middle-aged English college professor living in Los Angeles. George dreams that he encounters the body of his longtime partner, Jim (Matthew Goode), at the scene of the car accident that took Jim’s life eight months earlier. After awakening, George delivers a voiceover discussing the pain and depression he has endured since Jim’s death and his intention to commit suicide that evening ” Wikipedia

The way this film goes by is simply amazing, how a man cannot move on because of thinking about his old partner. The casual and deep connection between a student and a College teacher makes this film even more interesting, and please don’t forget the role of Jon Kortajarena as a Spanish male prostitute.

3. Freier Fall

The plot follows Marc, an expectant father and police officer who begins to develop feelings for a fellow policeman. The film was released on 23 May 2013. The casting of this film is composed by talented actors such as Hanno Koffler, Max Riemelt and Katharina Schüttler. A heart-touching drama is something that will make your heart beat faster than ever, scenes where you can believe people can sacrifice anything for true love.

 

4. My life in Pink

”Ludovic is a young boy who can’t wait to grow up to be a woman. When his family discovers the little girl blossoming in him they are forced to contend with their own discomfort and the lack of understanding from their new neighbors. Their anger and impatience cave and Ludovic is sent to see a psychiatrist in the hopes of fixing whatever is wrong with him. A movie that addresses trans-gender and gender issues in general through the eyes of a child.” Imdb

There is only a few amount of films that have made me cry and at some point influenced my life. Most of these films contain images and situations that some of us would normally feel identified with.

5. Shopaholic

Women are vulnerable to shopping, gay men aren’t far away from suffering this syndrome. This film tells the story of a NY based Journalist trying to make her way to the most famous fashion Magazine in town, unfortunately this women has to deal a lot with debt collectors who are trying to turn her life into a living hell. A story worth to be watched